Ready for the New Year? 5 Key Areas for Self-Improvement [Relationship Health]

At first glance, relationship health may seem secondary, or optional at best, when reflecting on preparation and self-improvement in the new year. After all, what use would there be for healthy relationships if your personal well-being needs improving? Before answering this question, let's prepare our mindset. I think this idea of sacrificing attention and energy in one area of life for the sake of another area reduces our perspective to an “either/or” approach. Prioritization is good, but we must be careful not to exclude or minimize the impact of other areas on our lives. A useful counter to this thought process is taking a “both/and” approach. “Both/and” meaning that we consider a range of options and aspects rather than limiting our focus. Preparing for the new year becomes easier when we open ourselves to change that involves multiple pathways. Improving relationship health, specifically, relies on the intersection of our personal experience and experiences with those around us. It’s no secret that relationships affect our personal well-being – the article on stress management showed us that much.

Determining relationship health involves more than exploring romantic relationships and does not require someone to be a socialite. This area, generally, focuses on the interactions that occur between yourself and others. Examples include time with a spouse/partner, family member, coworker, colleague, friend, or even an acquaintance/stranger you come across while waiting for a table at your favorite restaurant. Additionally, a healthy relationship consists of specific meaning contributed by its members. As a marriage and family therapist, I have worked with a range of relationships – each dependent on the couple or family’s definition to identify the health of their relationship. This subjective viewpoint is combined with core aspects that exist within healthy relationships. In this article, we will explore two core aspects necessary for improving relationship health.

How do you Relate?

Our examination of relationship health will focus on two aspects: communication and connection. How you communicate and connect with those around you determines whether your relationships will thrive, feel mechanical and underwhelming, or fall somewhere in between. Communication and connection can be general terms that are hard to specify, so let’s explore some examples.

Communication

Communication largely focuses on verbal and non-verbal forms of interaction. We communicate by talking, expressing emotion, holding hands, making eye contact, and countless other ways. Sometimes, the focus on communication involves describing the challenges faced between people. The challenge may be that they do not understand each other, they fight a lot, they find themselves in a constant loop of tension, or they may not have the right words to express themselves. In these situations, slowing down and focusing on one another, prioritizing common ground, and understanding each other’s point of view may be beneficial. Oftentimes, improving relationship health is less about problem solving specific topics and more about clearly stating your perspective, wants, and needs.

Connection

Connection largely focuses on the experience and significance of interactions. We connect by spending quality time, sharing how we feel about each other, building trust, and more. Like communication, describing challenges further specifies how we view connection. Challenges include people drifting apart, finding themselves interacting in the same monotonous way, struggling to adjust to a new life milestone, or prioritizing other people or things at the expense of their relationship. In these situations, giving more undivided attention, creating new expectations and routines together, and re-prioritizing one another may be beneficial. Relationship health has the greatest chance to thrive when those within the relationship feel united and valued by each other.

From Me to We

Communication and connection are powerful parts of relationships. They form the foundation for our interactions with everyone. So, how do you determine the health of a relationship? Or better yet, what is necessary to create lasting change and improve your relationships? One way to start is by identifying the people who are most important in your life. You may want to use the list at the beginning of this article for reference. Once you have a few people in mind, then you can shift your focus to the relationship. Check up on the way you communicate and connect with those closest to you by checking in. Go to the people you value and inquire about their lives. Lead with curiosity; you will feel closer and gain a glimpse into their world. In turn, you will encourage deeper discussion and have the opportunity to share your experiences. By checking in, you are creating a space to access together.

Relationship Health: Stronger Together

Sometimes, our relationships are among the first parts of life to suffer when we do not feel prepared or are unable to manage our personal struggles. However, taking time to invest in our relationships means that we will be investing in ourselves. Did you ever notice how a positive interaction with someone left you in a good mood – even when you were struggling with something? That is a healthy relationship at work. As the new year continues, take a moment to seek out those closest to you and fortify the connection you share with them. Let’s grow stronger together!